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Monday, March 19, 2007

Cabana Boys & Pina Coladas

Apparently we forgot to hire the cabana boys before I stopped working. Oops! But luckily, the hubby's second job is for a liquor store, so the Pina Coladas aren't a problem.

I have to say, this morning has been just about exactly what I expected it to be. Brody woke up at 6:30, so I replugged him and checked my mail. By 7, he was up for good. So he played in his swing while I threw in some laundry, we got him some breakfast, cleaned him up, played with Daddy for a few minutes, and then I put him down for a nap. The only shocking thing is that he is actually sleeping in his crib... with very little effort! Yippie! =)

The rest of the day will be LOTS of laundry (to give you an idea, I have not a single clean dish towel, no clean underwear, no clean jeans, Brody had no washcloths, bibs, or blankets clean... yeah, the mountain of dirty cloths is quite scary!)

(Are you bored yet? I am...)

So this stay at home thing, in the everyday mundane- is exactly what I expected. What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional side of it. I am scared out of my mind. I have no doubt that I will be able to fill my days. My worry is that I will waste my days. I know that playing with Brody, seeing his smile, hearing his laugh, they will fill me with joy. But how do I make sure that I am stimulating myself, and him at the same time? Is my analytical brain capable of being fulfilled with days filled with jumparoos and silly songs? I know my heart needs it- but what about my brain? Yes- I'm scared, and yes, I'm a little afraid to admit it in public, but I honestly don't think I'm experiencing anything different from most moms. Right? I hope so....

1 comment:

Kristi said...

You are not alone in feeling scared about staying at home. My situation is a little different (I work FT from home while caring for Isabella), but before she was born, I worked FT for eight years in an office. And making the switch to interacting with adults all day long to only having my baby for entertainment for 12 hours at a time has taken some getting used to, and frankly, I'm still not used to it.

I think the challenge lies in staying involved in activities that interest you, and that have nothing to do with being a mom. It's easier said than done at times, and I'm still working on it myself, but if I don't maintain "adult" interests, I know I will go insane!